A little time alone

What do I do when I find myself with a little time to myself alone in the apartment?
I decide to explore this little bathroom feature.


It looks unassuming. It's name is simple. Bidet. It sits in the corner behind our laundry rack which is in constant use. Sadly, I recently researched how to use it because frankly, though francophile with a few trip to France behind me, I've never actually used one.

The other women in my family have. My mom loved to soak her feet in one when she visited in 1986. "This is the best way to end the day" she'd say. My daughter has recently used it to wash her feet after a day in her Crocs on the dirty streets of Paris. Actually, I HAVE actually used it once to epilate my legs.

It seems that we have all had the wrong body parts interacting with the bidet.
As the instructions indicate...

So, finding myself alone for an hour or so, and having the laundry rack set in front of a sunny window allowed the moment to happen. I didn't want a child to come in, see me naked on this little white bathtub and say, "mamma, what are you doing?" As many of you know, there is no privacy with children. The worst part of this imagined scene would be the fact that I truly don't know what I'm doing. But it's time to find out.

I perch on the edge of the little porcelain "tub" facing the faucet. I believe that's what the directions say, but the water doesn't reach anywhere near me. I turn the other way, and still no contact with the water. The temperature of the water, by the way can be controlled by the hot/cold faucets.

Then I realize that I have only slightly turned the faucets on. I turn them on more, and finally the water hits the intended parts. A curious comfortable tingly sensation.

French women are smart. This little appliance should have a more royal name and place in the apartment, but for now it retains it's humble demeaner in the corner of the bathroom. I agree with my mother. It is the best way to end the day.